When the prospects of losing your job due to company downsizing is looming, one tends to start freaking out, especially whilst the economy is going down that never-seem-to-be-ending drain. Questions like, what am I going to do now? Will I have enough money to survive the next potential 6 months of unemployment? Are there enough job prospects out there? The uncertainty alone could turn a sane man wild. Yet I find myself in a place only described as ‘the calm before the storm’.
Despite that it isn’t the most sensible thing to do, I have blocked out any emotion towards my occupational fate. Perhaps it’s largely due to me abhorring what I do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excellent at what I do, except I don’t foresee myself in this field for the rest of my life. Yet I can’t seem to take the next step, or perhaps I am walking on eggshells with this one. Which leads to the next question: Why?
Why am I so afraid to take that leap into the unknown? The one where I take complete control of my life (a huge fete at that) and decide what is best for my life, my soul, my being, my existence. I don’t have the answers for this yet. Or perhaps I do somewhere in me, I just haven’t been able to dig deep enough into that hidden cave of enlightenment.
I find out tomorrow whether I still have a job with my current employer for the next contract year. If gambling was legal in the UAE, I’d go to the local TAB and place money on the fact that I won’t be having a job. Perhaps the winnings from that can keep me sustainable for the next 6 months.
